Starting Afresh
weight - 17st/238lbs
bust - 50''
waist - 42''
neck - 16 1/4''
arm - 17 1/2''
thigh - 29''
18th - have decided I HAVE to, once and for all, for the LAST time, kick this weight problem in the butt! ...so will be continuing to blog my way to success FOR THE LAST TIME! ... I did lose some weight last year, but was due to the heartbreak diet, which always goes back on again eventually! So here I am... 238lbs... huge... unfit... fat, ugly and very nearly 40, ready to get going.
My daughter is nearly 2 years old now and for her I have to set a good example, and I'm simply not. I don't have any energy to play with her much (I'm good for 2 minutes of dancing and that's about me had it) and it's simply not good enough. I've had no personal happiness these past few years (apart from the obvious happiness my daughter brings) and I think some of that could be down to weight... if I don't love myself then no one is going to, and no one does... so time for change. It's all quite simple too - eat less and move more and stay focused, I CAN do it, I know that! AND I am going to do it!!!.. and who knows, may even find some personal happiness for myself along the way!
I HOPE I can do this...
My first Goal is to get in the 15 stones, so 15lb to lose...
Just a few notes of how I feel at this weight: well every morning when I get up my ankles are so sore as they are constantly swollen these days (as are my wrists), I get worn out going up and down stairs, I lack motivation for pretty much anything. I don't feel 'right', half the time I feel I could drop down dead, I get palpatations, my anxiety is especially bad lately... I'm in bad shape, theres no denying it, I can't fool myself. When its hot my thighs are rubbing together and getting sore, I am wearing alot of clothes I wore when I was pregnant still! None of my old pre pregnancy clothes fit, I couldnt even wear my old winter coats and my feet are alot wider than they were too... I bought some sandles last summer and when I got them home they wouldnt fit which wasn't nice as they looked wide and had elastic in them. It's not fun at all being this size, I'm not happy with myself, I hate how I look and I generally feel like a big sack of potatoes that can't do very much at all. My husband says my size doesnt put him off, but he doesnt want me so I'm not really feeling like he's telling the truth on that one, and when I look in the mirror I wouldnt want me either... all of this HAS to change, this is my life and right now I don't want this life.
19th - 16st 12lbs / 236lbs / 9lbs down. 13lbs till in the 15 stones.
Am going to count my calories today, I found it was the only way to lose weight before, otherwise you kid yourself as to how much you've actually eaten!
